1 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:35,620 IT'S SPRING FOR THE SHERIFF 2 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:48,628 Come on guys! 3 00:02:48,795 --> 00:02:52,966 As smooth as you use your pickaxes and spades... 4 00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:55,844 you would think it was 50 degrees. 5 00:02:56,427 --> 00:02:59,556 It cannot be more than 45 degrees. 6 00:03:02,725 --> 00:03:06,104 Deduct a day's wages from the Chinese because he sleeps on the job. 7 00:03:08,857 --> 00:03:13,319 What's up with you guys? I don't hear anyone singing. 8 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:17,574 When you were slaves you sang like birds. 9 00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:21,160 How about a real old one nigger worker song? 10 00:03:29,669 --> 00:03:32,922 “I don't get a kick out of champagne 11 00:03:36,926 --> 00:03:40,346 “Liquor alone tells me nothing 12 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:46,811 “So tell me for what reason 13 00:03:49,105 --> 00:03:52,358 “Would I get a kick out of you 14 00:03:56,821 --> 00:04:00,199 "Some people get high from cocaine..." 15 00:04:04,329 --> 00:04:06,623 What the hell is this shit? 16 00:04:08,333 --> 00:04:11,628 I meant a song. A real song. 17 00:04:12,670 --> 00:04:14,088 Something that... 18 00:04:14,339 --> 00:04:17,508 "Swing low, sweet chariot..." 19 00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,932 Swing low? Sweet chariot? 20 00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:26,059 Don't you know it? 21 00:04:27,393 --> 00:04:30,063 How about "The Camp Town Ladies"? 22 00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:33,816 "The Camp Town Ladies"? 23 00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:38,446 You know that, right? 24 00:04:39,447 --> 00:04:43,910 “The Ladies of Camp Town singing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah 25 00:04:44,869 --> 00:04:48,623 “Camp Town Racetrack is five miles long, doo-dah 26 00:04:49,207 --> 00:04:52,794 “I'll run all night, run all day 27 00:04:53,127 --> 00:04:57,215 "Bet my money on the snagged horse, someone bet on the red-haired horse" 28 00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:10,311 What in the wide world of sports is that happening here? 29 00:05:10,603 --> 00:05:13,439 I hired you to get some rails laid... 30 00:05:13,606 --> 00:05:17,026 not to goof around as a bunch gays from kansas city! 31 00:05:17,193 --> 00:05:19,904 Excuse me Mr. Taggart. I think we got a little excited. 32 00:05:20,071 --> 00:05:24,075 Idiot, the pre-researchers think they have found quicksand further on. 33 00:05:24,325 --> 00:05:25,368 Best to check it out. 34 00:05:25,535 --> 00:05:28,454 All right, I'll send off a couple of horses to check the ground. 35 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:33,251 Horses! We cannot afford to lose some horses, idiot! 36 00:05:33,835 --> 00:05:35,837 Send a couple of niggers away. 37 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,550 You and you. 38 00:05:43,344 --> 00:05:47,098 He specifically asked for two niggers… 39 00:05:47,807 --> 00:05:52,311 but between us, a family secret, my grandmother was dutch. 40 00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:55,648 Jump onto the trolley and drive it to the end of the track! 41 00:05:55,815 --> 00:05:58,401 I just wanted to help. 42 00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:03,114 I didn't know that your grandmother be dutch! 43 00:06:05,575 --> 00:06:10,246 “The Ladies of Camp Town singing this song, doo-dah, doo-dah 44 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:16,169 “Camp Town Racetrack is five miles long, doo-dah 45 00:06:16,335 --> 00:06:20,173 “I'll run all night, run all day 46 00:06:20,339 --> 00:06:25,261 "I bet on the snagged horse, someone bet on the red-haired horse" 47 00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:30,641 Am I wrong... 48 00:06:31,684 --> 00:06:33,936 or is the world rising? 49 00:06:35,104 --> 00:06:39,025 I don't know, but whatever it is, I don't like it. 50 00:06:42,236 --> 00:06:44,113 May I ask a question? 51 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:48,910 What is not real water, and what is not really earth? 52 00:06:50,161 --> 00:06:51,537 Quicksand! 53 00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,795 Quicksand! 54 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,840 Damn, now we have a problem! 55 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:04,717 They have problems! 56 00:07:07,011 --> 00:07:10,890 Take the rope and throw it over there, quick! 57 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,487 Heavens, what luck! 58 00:07:24,654 --> 00:07:28,074 We almost lost a wagon worth $400. 59 00:07:34,539 --> 00:07:38,960 We can lay it out to the left of that hill. 60 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:43,756 But we're going to die, Bart. They leave us here to die. 61 00:07:43,923 --> 00:07:48,010 Take it easy, Charlie. I have my foot on the rail. 62 00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:56,894 Then maybe down that gap. I think the ground is pretty level there. 63 00:07:57,061 --> 00:07:59,981 We can't turn right because of that hill. 64 00:08:00,148 --> 00:08:03,359 That is the path we must take. 65 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:07,947 Yes, we'll put it right there, straight over the ridge. 66 00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:13,911 Guys, break is over. 67 00:08:14,078 --> 00:08:16,539 Don't lie there and sunbathe! 68 00:08:16,706 --> 00:08:19,584 It's not healthy! 69 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:24,755 Take the shovel and use it for something useful. 70 00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:32,513 What? 71 00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:34,515 Don't do it! 72 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,519 I have to. 73 00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,980 Send a telegram to headquarters... 74 00:08:41,147 --> 00:08:43,649 and say I said: Ouch! 75 00:08:43,816 --> 00:08:48,446 Send telegram, headquarters, say I said, "Ouch". Roger. 76 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,241 HEDLEY LAMARR STATE ATTORNEY 77 00:08:52,408 --> 00:08:55,620 ASSISTANT TO THE GOVERNOR STATE POLICY 78 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:58,748 And right here, Mr. Lamarr, we encountered the quicksand. 79 00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:01,667 Quicksand. Excellent. 80 00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:05,838 So the railroad must go through Rock Ridge. 81 00:09:06,005 --> 00:09:08,799 Rock Ridge. Excellent. 82 00:09:08,966 --> 00:09:10,343 Of course. 83 00:09:10,509 --> 00:09:12,678 Rock Ridge. Rock Ridge. 84 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:15,139 Take it easy, Taggart. 85 00:09:15,306 --> 00:09:19,393 My brain glows with whirling mind knots... 86 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:23,356 that meanders through a cosmic labyrinth. 87 00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,732 I agree! 88 00:09:26,901 --> 00:09:30,071 "I agree"? Sheep's skull! 89 00:09:31,739 --> 00:09:33,032 Apologize. 90 00:09:33,491 --> 00:09:35,952 A plane. We need a plan. 91 00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:38,746 What the hell was that? 92 00:09:46,504 --> 00:09:48,673 We can't hear our own thoughts! 93 00:09:51,968 --> 00:09:56,639 Excuse me, Your Grace, but I have two husbands sick at home with the flu... 94 00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:59,225 it's total chaos down here. 95 00:09:59,392 --> 00:10:02,019 I'll try to do it so quietly as possible. 96 00:10:02,353 --> 00:10:03,980 But as you can see... 97 00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:08,943 this guy is a little special. 98 00:10:11,028 --> 00:10:14,407 Yes, the Dr. Gillespie murders. Well, do your best! 99 00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:21,247 Now, where were we? 100 00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,540 Rock Ridge. 101 00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:27,628 Yes, when the railroad goes through Rock Ridge… 102 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:31,299 will the land be worth millions, and I want to own it! 103 00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:35,970 I want that land so badly that I can taste it. 104 00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,975 There must be a way. 105 00:10:43,102 --> 00:10:44,312 Lumpy skull! 106 00:10:45,396 --> 00:10:48,691 Wait a while! There may be a legal precedent. 107 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:52,111 Of course! Lure the ground! 108 00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:55,823 "See under 'trick'." 109 00:10:59,618 --> 00:11:03,581 Haley v. The US State. Haley seven. American state, zero. 110 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,667 There you see. It works. 111 00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:11,589 Unfortunately there is an obstacle between me and the property. 112 00:11:11,756 --> 00:11:13,257 The legal owners. 113 00:11:13,424 --> 00:11:16,677 There must be a way to scare them, to get them away. 114 00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,722 Getting rid of every single living soul in that one... 115 00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:22,975 At the bottom of the hall on the left. 116 00:11:23,851 --> 00:11:25,019 Now I know! 117 00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:26,312 What? What? 118 00:11:26,479 --> 00:11:29,523 I know how we can get rid of them all the residents of Rock Ridge. 119 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:33,069 We kill the firstborn in every home. 120 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:36,405 Too Jewish. 121 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,659 I got it! 122 00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,788 We take Number Six! 123 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:45,289 I don't know that number. 124 00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,917 It's when we ride into town... 125 00:11:48,084 --> 00:11:50,711 and hits and shoots every single one living soul... 126 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,422 that moves. 127 00:11:53,631 --> 00:11:55,341 Except the womenfolk. 128 00:11:55,508 --> 00:11:56,675 You spare the women? 129 00:11:56,842 --> 00:12:00,679 No, we'll rape them later at the dance hall. 130 00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:03,182 Amazing, so creative! 131 00:12:04,642 --> 00:12:06,352 But Taggart, you're hurt! 132 00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:09,688 That snooty nigga hit me in the head with the shovel. 133 00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:14,485 I would really appreciate it if you guys have a heart for... 134 00:12:14,652 --> 00:12:17,863 to hang him until he is dead. 135 00:12:18,030 --> 00:12:19,657 I have him locked in the basement. 136 00:12:19,824 --> 00:12:21,951 Consider it already done, my friend. 137 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,962 I have a special one. When can you take him? 138 00:12:33,129 --> 00:12:37,258 Not before Monday, I'm fully booked. 139 00:12:37,758 --> 00:12:39,260 Monday. Excellent. 140 00:12:45,391 --> 00:12:48,060 Thank you very much. And don't worry. 141 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:51,856 We make sure that the owners believe that the land is worth as little as a chicken... 142 00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,733 like stuck in a tractor engine! 143 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:03,242 So yes, Taggart. It's just a man and a horse hanging out there. 144 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,127 "There was a peaceful city by name Rock Ridge 145 00:13:14,712 --> 00:13:17,465 "Where people lived in harmony 146 00:13:19,550 --> 00:13:22,636 “They never had any problems 147 00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:27,016 "There were no signs of poverty 148 00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,941 "It was always lively at the saloon 149 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:39,820 "But never tasteless or indecent 150 00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:43,866 "Behind the bar was Anal Johnson 151 00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:47,828 "He always kept everything clean and nice 152 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:53,209 "But all of a sudden the peace ended 153 00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,003 "A gang of murderers and thieves 154 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,465 “Settled like a swarm of locusts 155 00:14:00,049 --> 00:14:02,635 "Their aim was to make the people flee" 156 00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:33,082 That was the end of this costume! 157 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:43,842 Have you ever seen the husband of cruelty? 158 00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:50,724 "Now is the time to make big decisions 159 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:57,273 "Should we stay or leave 160 00:15:00,818 --> 00:15:04,446 “There is no way to prevent this conclusion 161 00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:11,662 "Our city is heading straight for the grave" 162 00:15:21,088 --> 00:15:23,799 Dear citizens, I don't need to tell you... 163 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,969 what has happened here in our beloved city. 164 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:31,682 The sheriff murdered, the harvest burned... 165 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:36,020 shops looted, people trampled... 166 00:15:36,395 --> 00:15:38,188 and cattle raped! 167 00:15:40,316 --> 00:15:44,278 Now is the time to shop. And shop fast. 168 00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,658 I'm leaving town. 169 00:15:50,117 --> 00:15:54,121 come back here, you pious and cowardly fool. 170 00:15:55,581 --> 00:15:58,876 No one should leave this town! 171 00:16:01,086 --> 00:16:04,715 Damn, I was born here and raised here... 172 00:16:04,965 --> 00:16:07,468 and fuck me, I'm going to die here! 173 00:16:07,635 --> 00:16:11,263 And no cowardly miscreant, deluded piece of shit... 174 00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:15,434 cookie cutter, going to destroy my cookie dish! 175 00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:24,568 Now, what can we say against this? 176 00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,616 We are all in debt to Gabby Johnson… 177 00:16:30,783 --> 00:16:33,577 because of course he said what needed to be said. 178 00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,580 I am happy about that these wonderful children… 179 00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,916 was here today and heard his speech. 180 00:16:39,083 --> 00:16:42,211 It wasn't just authentic bullshit… 181 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:46,340 but it expressed a courage that seldom See you these days. 182 00:16:48,217 --> 00:16:49,927 What are we made of? 183 00:16:50,928 --> 00:16:53,263 Our ancestors came across the prairie… 184 00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:57,559 fought Indians, fought drought, fought grasshoppers and Dix. 185 00:16:57,726 --> 00:17:01,730 Do you remember when Richard Dix came here? and wanted to take over power in town? 186 00:17:02,439 --> 00:17:04,358 We didn't give up then… 187 00:17:04,525 --> 00:17:08,278 and by God, we're not giving up now either! 188 00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:15,994 Olson Johnson is right! 189 00:17:16,453 --> 00:17:21,125 What kind of people are we? We stop and take up the fight! 190 00:17:22,626 --> 00:17:26,922 Dr. Samuel Johnson is right that Olson Johnson is right. 191 00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:29,174 I'm not going to let anyone take my ice cream bar... 192 00:17:29,341 --> 00:17:32,678 which I built with my own hands. 193 00:17:33,595 --> 00:17:35,305 Howard Johnson is right! 194 00:17:38,976 --> 00:17:43,647 So, if we're going to stay, and I think it's a mistake... 195 00:17:45,232 --> 00:17:49,153 then we need a new sheriff. Now, who will it be? 196 00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:53,365 Why don't we telegraph to the governor and asks him to appoint a sheriff? 197 00:17:53,532 --> 00:17:55,826 Why should one of our men be murdered? 198 00:17:56,326 --> 00:17:59,788 Howard Johnson is right. We telegraph to the governor. 199 00:18:01,206 --> 00:18:04,585 So let's ask for a new sheriff. 200 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:08,797 Does the congregation want to be kind and stand up? 201 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:14,595 I will now read from the books Matthew, Mark, Luke... 202 00:18:17,431 --> 00:18:18,640 and dive! 203 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,149 WILLIAM J. LE PETOMANE GOVERNOR 204 00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,903 We must do something now! 205 00:18:33,655 --> 00:18:36,366 Governor, may I interrupt for a moment? 206 00:18:36,658 --> 00:18:39,453 A signature here. 207 00:18:40,621 --> 00:18:42,289 Yeah, what the hell is that? 208 00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:44,041 Well, thanks to this law… 209 00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:47,211 can we steal 80,000 hectares from the Indians... 210 00:18:47,377 --> 00:18:50,255 an area that we consider unsafe for them right now. 211 00:18:50,422 --> 00:18:51,673 They are like children. 212 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,343 80,000 hectares! 213 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,596 What will it cost? How much? 214 00:18:57,763 --> 00:18:59,389 This box. 215 00:19:00,432 --> 00:19:03,685 are you crazy They will never go away on that, or, maybe. 216 00:19:03,852 --> 00:19:08,315 The little red devils, they love toys. Can I try? 217 00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:12,194 They are poorly constructed. 218 00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:16,365 You are right as usual. 219 00:19:17,074 --> 00:19:18,116 Hang up! 220 00:19:18,283 --> 00:19:20,619 Just a signature here. 221 00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:23,205 Okay, give me a hand. 222 00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,123 Work, work, work. 223 00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:28,669 Hey boys, did you sleep well? I missed you. 224 00:19:28,836 --> 00:19:32,005 - Just one grant to sign. - What is this? 225 00:19:32,673 --> 00:19:35,551 This transforms the State Hospital for Insanity to... 226 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:39,304 the Insane Playhouse in Memory of William J. Le Petomane. 227 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,472 Gentlemen, this... 228 00:19:40,639 --> 00:19:43,141 this grant represents a huge step forward… 229 00:19:43,308 --> 00:19:45,727 in the treatment of mentally ill players. 230 00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,938 Bravo! Wonderfully! 231 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,109 Thank you, Hedy. Thank you very much. 232 00:19:52,276 --> 00:19:55,237 Not Hedy. It's Hedley. Hedley Lamarr. 233 00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:56,572 What are you worried about? 234 00:19:56,738 --> 00:20:00,325 The year is 1874. You can sue her. 235 00:20:12,004 --> 00:20:14,464 Okay, help me aim right. 236 00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,341 Just think of your secretary. 237 00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:18,719 That was a very good suggestion. 238 00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,139 Was that all? Anything more? 239 00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:25,100 Just this urgent telegram from Rock Ridge. 240 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:26,935 It arrived last Friday. 241 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,271 Read it! 242 00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:34,401 "Sheriff murdered. Church meeting bombed. Terrorism must end. 243 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,653 "Send new sheriff at once." 244 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:38,113 Gentle powers! 245 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:42,451 Sheriff murdered. Innocent women and children blown to bits. 246 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:44,745 We have to defend our fake jobs. 247 00:20:44,995 --> 00:20:48,957 We have to do something about this the stain, the stain, the stain! 248 00:20:51,543 --> 00:20:53,086 He over there didn't "grunt". 249 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:55,297 Let the governor hear a "cruel". 250 00:20:55,631 --> 00:20:57,132 Take care! 251 00:20:57,382 --> 00:20:59,426 Gentlemen, rest your rectal muscles. 252 00:20:59,593 --> 00:21:00,636 Well said. 253 00:21:01,637 --> 00:21:03,931 As State Attorney, I guarantee you... 254 00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:07,893 that a suitable sheriff will be assigned to defend Rock Ridge. 255 00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:09,478 The meeting is cancelled. 256 00:21:09,645 --> 00:21:13,565 Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean that take your work. You say it. 257 00:21:13,732 --> 00:21:14,107 What? 258 00:21:14,274 --> 00:21:15,776 - The meeting is cancelled. - Is it? 259 00:21:15,943 --> 00:21:17,402 No. You say it. 260 00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,862 - What? - The meeting is cancelled. 261 00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:19,655 Is it? 262 00:21:19,821 --> 00:21:22,991 - Play with this one for now. - Thank you, Hedy. 263 00:21:23,158 --> 00:21:24,242 - It's Hedley! - Is it? 264 00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,161 Pass these out to the boys… 265 00:21:26,328 --> 00:21:28,372 instead of the salary. Here you have. 266 00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:33,251 And one more Miss Stein, my beloved secretary. 267 00:21:33,418 --> 00:21:36,505 Guys, play with these instead of with other stuff. 268 00:21:37,839 --> 00:21:39,841 This wonky thing is crooked. 269 00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:43,679 Why do I always get a crooked one? 270 00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:51,061 A sheriff? The last thing I want is law and order! 271 00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:57,526 Wait a while. Maybe I can take advantage the situation in my favor. 272 00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:03,198 If I could find a sheriff who is one insult to the residents of Rock Ridge…. 273 00:22:03,615 --> 00:22:07,077 so big that they leave the city only they see him… 274 00:22:09,162 --> 00:22:11,331 But where can I find such a man? 275 00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:13,917 Why am I asking you? 276 00:22:23,719 --> 00:22:27,431 Welcome to the Hanging House. Don't worry… 277 00:22:27,931 --> 00:22:30,058 all are equal in my eyes. 278 00:22:47,951 --> 00:22:49,661 No, not in the ear! 279 00:22:53,832 --> 00:22:55,000 The Governor! 280 00:22:57,210 --> 00:22:58,628 Official apartment. 281 00:22:58,795 --> 00:23:00,130 Is it important? 282 00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:01,840 Very urgent. 283 00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,676 Will come right away. 284 00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:07,763 Pull something over you and stay in it the position. 285 00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:13,560 Excuse me, was out on a tour, looked around. 286 00:23:13,894 --> 00:23:14,895 Can I be of service? 287 00:23:15,062 --> 00:23:16,438 According to your instructions... 288 00:23:16,605 --> 00:23:19,566 May I introduce the new sheriff of Rock Ridge. 289 00:23:19,733 --> 00:23:21,401 With pleasure... 290 00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:24,780 Come here, I need to talk to you. 291 00:23:24,946 --> 00:23:28,075 Have you gone crazy? Don't you see the man is a nigga... 292 00:23:31,369 --> 00:23:34,164 Wrong person. Sorry. Didn't mean to offend. 293 00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:39,252 Have you gone crazy? Don't you see the fellow is black? 294 00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:41,088 Don't worry. 295 00:23:41,254 --> 00:23:43,173 I have always trusted your judgment… 296 00:23:43,340 --> 00:23:45,884 but haven't you jumped over the shackles now? 297 00:23:46,051 --> 00:23:48,345 Don't jump on the roof! 298 00:23:48,512 --> 00:23:51,056 I will make you a historical figure. 299 00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:54,351 You might even be able to get a seat in the government. 300 00:23:54,518 --> 00:23:56,103 A place in the government! 301 00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:57,729 Did you say that? 302 00:23:58,021 --> 00:23:59,064 Wonderfully! 303 00:23:59,231 --> 00:24:03,401 Yes, the first man ever who appoint a black sheriff! Just think about… 304 00:24:03,860 --> 00:24:05,237 Washington, Jefferson... 305 00:24:05,403 --> 00:24:06,196 Lincoln. 306 00:24:06,363 --> 00:24:07,572 Smile Petomane! 307 00:24:08,573 --> 00:24:11,159 You have the seeds of greatness within you. 308 00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:14,204 Nurture them, pet them, water them. 309 00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:16,998 Don't underestimate yourselves. 310 00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:21,044 It will never work. They kill him on the first day. 311 00:24:21,211 --> 00:24:25,590 One day is all we need for you to get your name written in the history of the West. 312 00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:28,593 And to get your nomination to, dare I say it...? 313 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:29,553 Dare, dare! 314 00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:31,012 To the President! 315 00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:34,349 Salute the President! 316 00:24:43,150 --> 00:24:45,318 “Eighty-seven years ago… 317 00:24:45,610 --> 00:24:48,738 "established our forefathers..." 318 00:24:49,197 --> 00:24:50,407 are you coming 319 00:24:50,574 --> 00:24:51,992 In a moment, dear. 320 00:24:52,159 --> 00:24:56,621 Gentlemen, official business must come first the official affairs. 321 00:24:57,455 --> 00:24:59,416 Yes of course, we understand. 322 00:24:59,583 --> 00:25:00,876 Are you arranging everything? 323 00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:02,711 I arrange everything. 324 00:25:02,878 --> 00:25:04,546 Especially the funeral. 325 00:25:06,131 --> 00:25:10,385 Good luck, boys. Wonderful to work with you. Good luck! 326 00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:18,578 Hurry, up with the flags. He will come soon. 327 00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:22,457 I just received a telegram from the governor. 328 00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,751 The sheriff will be here at twelve o'clock. 329 00:26:25,168 --> 00:26:28,672 Twelve o'clock! I better practice my speech! 330 00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:34,010 “As Chairman of the Welcome Committee… 331 00:26:34,302 --> 00:26:38,932 "It's an honor to hand over a laurel wreath and a hearty greeting." 332 00:26:41,059 --> 00:26:41,935 Fantastic! 333 00:26:42,102 --> 00:26:43,228 Excellent! 334 00:26:43,937 --> 00:26:45,480 Can you see him? 335 00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:52,153 The sheriff is coming! 336 00:26:53,029 --> 00:26:55,115 Ring the church bells! 337 00:27:11,298 --> 00:27:14,134 Hey, the sheriff is a n...! 338 00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:16,428 What did he say? 339 00:27:16,594 --> 00:27:18,096 The sheriff is near! 340 00:27:18,638 --> 00:27:22,642 No, no, damn it, the sheriff is a n... 341 00:27:44,789 --> 00:27:47,584 As Chairman of the Welcome Committee... 342 00:27:47,751 --> 00:27:52,464 it is an honor to hand over a laurel wreath and a hearty greeting to our new… 343 00:27:56,843 --> 00:27:57,969 nigger. 344 00:28:26,831 --> 00:28:29,334 Excuse me while I get this out. 345 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:37,759 “In authority of that role assigned to me... 346 00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:41,346 "by Governor William J. Le Petomane... 347 00:28:47,060 --> 00:28:48,561 "do I undertake my duties... 348 00:28:48,728 --> 00:28:52,357 "as Sheriff of and for the City of Rock Ridge." 349 00:28:52,524 --> 00:28:55,402 Gentlemen, don't let anger ruin the day. 350 00:28:56,111 --> 00:28:58,696 As your pastor, I ask you… 351 00:28:58,947 --> 00:29:02,242 to follow this book and listen to what it has to say. 352 00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:07,455 Son, you can handle yourself! 353 00:29:12,544 --> 00:29:13,586 Wait! 354 00:29:14,087 --> 00:29:16,756 If anybody moves, the nigger gets the lead! 355 00:29:21,428 --> 00:29:24,097 Wait, guys. He's not bluffing. 356 00:29:24,305 --> 00:29:27,350 Listen to him. He's crazy enough to do that. 357 00:29:27,517 --> 00:29:31,521 Drop the weapons, or I will scatter nigger skull all over town! 358 00:29:32,564 --> 00:29:37,152 God, he's desperate! Do as he says, do it! 359 00:29:54,502 --> 00:29:57,380 Is there anyone who can help the poor man? 360 00:29:57,547 --> 00:30:00,508 Hush, Harriet, otherwise he will surely be shot dead. 361 00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:03,511 Help me, help me... 362 00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:05,763 can someone help me? 363 00:30:08,266 --> 00:30:09,392 Shut up! 364 00:30:13,354 --> 00:30:16,232 Oh, you are so talented. 365 00:30:18,359 --> 00:30:20,528 And they are so stupid! 366 00:30:21,404 --> 00:30:23,781 ROCK RIDGE CITY COUNCIL 367 00:30:29,037 --> 00:30:30,205 Damn it! 368 00:30:30,371 --> 00:30:31,831 I said, "Order"! 369 00:30:32,957 --> 00:30:37,378 As you know, Nietzsche said: "Out of chaos comes order." 370 00:30:38,213 --> 00:30:40,381 Now you have to give in, Howard! 371 00:30:42,884 --> 00:30:44,886 Now everyone must be quiet... 372 00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:50,391 and listen to Harriet van Johnson, our honorable schoolmistress... 373 00:30:52,227 --> 00:30:56,898 while reading a telegram that she himself authored to the Governor…. 374 00:30:58,525 --> 00:31:02,654 that expresses our meaning about the new sheriff. 375 00:31:11,079 --> 00:31:13,498 "To Governor William J. Le Petomane." 376 00:31:13,665 --> 00:31:16,000 Higher! Speak louder! We don't hear! 377 00:31:17,168 --> 00:31:19,254 I'm not used to giving speeches. 378 00:31:21,297 --> 00:31:25,593 "We whites, godly citizens of Rock Ridge… 379 00:31:27,303 --> 00:31:31,182 “wish to express our strong displeasure… 380 00:31:31,516 --> 00:31:33,601 “with your choice of sheriff. 381 00:31:34,185 --> 00:31:37,105 “Please depose him at once. 382 00:31:39,399 --> 00:31:42,735 “The fact that you sent him here… 383 00:31:43,570 --> 00:31:48,241 "proving that you are the leader the shit-boot in this state." 384 00:32:12,432 --> 00:32:14,892 The filly in number two seems to have woken up. 385 00:32:20,732 --> 00:32:22,150 Are we awake? 386 00:32:26,696 --> 00:32:28,197 We don't know. 387 00:32:29,616 --> 00:32:31,951 Are we black? 388 00:32:32,327 --> 00:32:33,536 Yes, we are. 389 00:32:35,371 --> 00:32:39,334 Then we are awake. But we are very puzzled. 390 00:32:41,502 --> 00:32:44,297 I should probably correct myself. 391 00:32:47,842 --> 00:32:49,093 Any help? 392 00:32:52,263 --> 00:32:53,598 All I can get. 393 00:33:05,902 --> 00:33:08,071 It's okay. Sit down here. 394 00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:21,668 Maybe you should eat something first? 395 00:33:21,834 --> 00:33:24,587 No, thank you. Food makes me sick. 396 00:33:34,222 --> 00:33:38,476 A man who drinks like that and does not eat, he will die. 397 00:33:41,187 --> 00:33:42,188 When? 398 00:33:45,358 --> 00:33:46,693 What is your name? 399 00:33:46,859 --> 00:33:50,405 My name is Jim, but most people call me... 400 00:33:53,449 --> 00:33:54,450 Jim. 401 00:33:56,869 --> 00:34:01,040 All right, Jim, since you're my guest and I am your host… 402 00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:04,043 what amuses you? What would you like to do? 403 00:34:04,711 --> 00:34:07,380 I don't know. Play chess... 404 00:34:09,465 --> 00:34:10,508 fuck 405 00:34:11,884 --> 00:34:13,594 Then we play chess. 406 00:34:17,265 --> 00:34:18,391 Checkmate. 407 00:34:21,185 --> 00:34:22,311 Checkmate. 408 00:34:22,603 --> 00:34:25,022 Well, you squirming fan. 409 00:34:25,898 --> 00:34:27,191 Happy times! 410 00:34:36,826 --> 00:34:39,078 Why are you hurting yourself so badly? 411 00:34:39,912 --> 00:34:42,331 Oh, you'd rather not know that. 412 00:34:42,665 --> 00:34:43,958 Yes, I want that. 413 00:34:44,125 --> 00:34:45,710 Now if you must know… 414 00:34:46,127 --> 00:34:47,712 I have to, I have to! 415 00:34:48,796 --> 00:34:51,799 I don't know if you have heard of me… 416 00:34:52,383 --> 00:34:55,803 but I used to be called the Waco Kid. 417 00:34:58,139 --> 00:35:01,893 Waco Kid. No one shot as fast as him in the West. 418 00:35:03,644 --> 00:35:04,896 In the world! 419 00:35:05,980 --> 00:35:08,816 So, if you're the Waco Kid, show me something. 420 00:35:09,901 --> 00:35:14,572 A few years ago, maybe I would been able to show you something, but now… 421 00:35:17,116 --> 00:35:18,451 look at it. 422 00:35:18,618 --> 00:35:20,161 Steady as a rock. 423 00:35:20,495 --> 00:35:22,914 Yeah, but I shoot with this hand. 424 00:35:23,623 --> 00:35:27,794 I knew you weren't the Waco Kid. You're just trying to trick me. 425 00:35:44,018 --> 00:35:45,269 Do you see the king? 426 00:35:46,729 --> 00:35:49,148 Place your hands on either side of it. 427 00:35:52,610 --> 00:35:56,113 When I say "go", then you try to take it first. 428 00:35:56,989 --> 00:36:00,034 It's not a competition. You are much further away. 429 00:36:04,121 --> 00:36:08,626 Doesn't matter, when you hear the word "go", then you try to take it. 430 00:36:10,044 --> 00:36:11,045 Clear? 431 00:36:11,671 --> 00:36:12,797 Clear. 432 00:36:19,762 --> 00:36:21,097 Go! 433 00:36:31,774 --> 00:36:33,484 Looking for this one? 434 00:36:37,947 --> 00:36:41,701 It was a surprise! You are the Kid! 435 00:36:42,535 --> 00:36:45,580 Where. Yes, I was the Kid. 436 00:36:48,541 --> 00:36:50,126 What happened? 437 00:36:50,918 --> 00:36:54,130 It went so far that every single bastard... 438 00:36:54,297 --> 00:36:56,090 who thought he could shoot… 439 00:36:56,257 --> 00:37:00,386 rode into town to measure up to the Waco Kid. 440 00:37:01,637 --> 00:37:05,975 I must have shot more men dead than Cecil B. De Mille. 441 00:37:06,309 --> 00:37:08,060 It got pretty nasty. 442 00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:11,147 I started hearing the word "pull" in my sleep. 443 00:37:14,066 --> 00:37:15,443 Then, one day… 444 00:37:16,110 --> 00:37:20,781 as I walked down the street, then I heard a voice behind me saying... 445 00:37:22,825 --> 00:37:26,495 "Pick it up, mister!" I swung around. 446 00:37:29,081 --> 00:37:31,584 And there I stood, face to face… 447 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,589 with a child of six years. 448 00:37:40,843 --> 00:37:44,221 I put the weapons in place and left. 449 00:37:47,475 --> 00:37:50,311 The little shit shot me in the hedge. 450 00:37:53,230 --> 00:37:57,860 So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled into a bottle of whiskey… 451 00:38:00,571 --> 00:38:02,740 and there I have stayed ever since. 452 00:38:06,827 --> 00:38:08,079 Have a drink. 453 00:38:14,710 --> 00:38:19,382 Anyway, that's old history. Tell me about your life. 454 00:38:19,757 --> 00:38:24,011 What's a handsome city guy like you doing out here on the farmer's market? 455 00:38:25,179 --> 00:38:27,014 If you really must know. 456 00:38:27,431 --> 00:38:29,016 I have to, I have to! 457 00:38:33,854 --> 00:38:36,190 In 1856... 458 00:38:36,941 --> 00:38:40,778 my parents and I participated in it where the long caravan of wagons… 459 00:38:41,404 --> 00:38:43,114 which went out to the West. 460 00:38:55,668 --> 00:38:58,004 Well, actually we didn't participate. 461 00:38:59,213 --> 00:39:03,300 Perhaps you could say that we were the rearguard, when all of a sudden... 462 00:39:03,467 --> 00:39:07,013 from the west, come all the Sioux Indians! 463 00:39:07,596 --> 00:39:11,559 And I can tell you, they were ready for mass execution. 464 00:39:15,646 --> 00:39:19,442 Of course we weren't allowed to travel in the whites' circle... 465 00:39:19,900 --> 00:39:21,610 so we formed our own. 466 00:39:57,605 --> 00:39:59,065 Black people? 467 00:40:14,789 --> 00:40:16,707 You can give up. It's okay. 468 00:40:16,874 --> 00:40:18,167 Thank you very much. 469 00:40:19,794 --> 00:40:22,046 Travel with health. Move on. 470 00:40:30,513 --> 00:40:32,807 They are darker than us! 471 00:40:36,352 --> 00:40:38,604 And the rest is history. 472 00:40:40,439 --> 00:40:41,607 Impressed? 473 00:40:47,154 --> 00:40:50,032 I like to keep my audience captivated. 474 00:40:56,497 --> 00:40:58,457 ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF ONLY 475 00:40:58,666 --> 00:41:01,210 KNOCK ON THE BARBED FENCE BEFORE YOU GET ON 476 00:41:43,460 --> 00:41:45,629 Some more beans, Mr. Taggart? 477 00:41:45,796 --> 00:41:47,548 You have received more than enough! 478 00:41:51,552 --> 00:41:55,806 There's a new sheriff in town. Who wants to kill him? 479 00:42:02,521 --> 00:42:05,941 Why don't we hand him over to Mongo? 480 00:42:09,612 --> 00:42:11,780 Mongo, that's really too cruel! 481 00:42:12,781 --> 00:42:15,951 I'm totally blown away! It's a unique idea! 482 00:42:24,335 --> 00:42:26,754 Sit down, sit down, Mongo! 483 00:42:27,504 --> 00:42:29,215 Hi, it's me. Tag type. 484 00:42:29,423 --> 00:42:30,966 Here, smell me! 485 00:42:34,678 --> 00:42:36,513 That's a nice Mongo. 486 00:42:37,848 --> 00:42:41,936 What are you saying? Do you feel like maiming the new sheriff? 487 00:42:47,358 --> 00:42:48,609 Have a cigar. 488 00:43:29,358 --> 00:43:31,777 I received a letter this morning. 489 00:43:32,027 --> 00:43:32,987 From who? 490 00:43:33,153 --> 00:43:37,283 I don't know for sure. It was for the "Nigger Sheriff". 491 00:43:41,578 --> 00:43:44,498 well, after I have established myself here in town… 492 00:43:44,707 --> 00:43:47,793 can "Nigger Sheriff" become a significant position. 493 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:48,961 Here. 494 00:43:58,137 --> 00:44:01,181 Listen, Bart, do me a favor. 495 00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:04,560 Don't go out on the town today. 496 00:44:04,727 --> 00:44:07,396 It doesn't matter what you do, you can't convince them. 497 00:44:07,563 --> 00:44:09,940 They just don't want to accept you. 498 00:44:19,742 --> 00:44:22,745 Thank God the fingers are not loaded. 499 00:44:26,415 --> 00:44:28,208 Just like in the old days. 500 00:44:32,421 --> 00:44:37,092 As I said, after you establish yourself, they must accept you. 501 00:44:38,427 --> 00:44:39,803 See you later. 502 00:44:44,475 --> 00:44:45,601 Good luck! 503 00:44:53,942 --> 00:44:55,652 Good morning, madam. 504 00:44:56,612 --> 00:44:58,614 Isn't it a wonderful morning? 505 00:44:59,615 --> 00:45:01,325 Get in the hedge, nigga! 506 00:45:05,746 --> 00:45:08,791 What did you expect? "Welcome young man." 507 00:45:10,084 --> 00:45:11,794 "Make yourself at home." 508 00:45:12,961 --> 00:45:17,633 "My true daughter." You must remember that they are simple farmers. 509 00:45:18,967 --> 00:45:21,303 They are down to earth people. 510 00:45:22,304 --> 00:45:25,557 The very ordinary people of the new West. 511 00:45:27,226 --> 00:45:28,310 You know. 512 00:45:30,521 --> 00:45:31,897 Sheep's skulls! 513 00:45:35,818 --> 00:45:37,444 What the hell is that? 514 00:45:52,501 --> 00:45:55,337 Mongo! Holy Mary! 515 00:45:57,214 --> 00:45:59,425 I believe in it. And if you all… 516 00:45:59,591 --> 00:46:02,177 friends and neighbors, gathered and… 517 00:46:02,344 --> 00:46:04,263 Hell! 518 00:46:09,393 --> 00:46:13,897 And it is said that in Paris, France, these days... 519 00:46:15,232 --> 00:46:18,485 Louis Pasteur has produced a new one vaccines that... 520 00:46:18,652 --> 00:46:21,822 will eradicate foot-and-mouth disease once and for all. 521 00:46:27,286 --> 00:46:29,872 Hey, you can't park that animal there! 522 00:46:30,038 --> 00:46:31,457 It is forbidden. 523 00:46:38,755 --> 00:46:43,510 Consider that, gentlemen. No more foot and mouth disease. 524 00:46:44,178 --> 00:46:47,473 Screw it, here comes Mongo! 525 00:46:53,896 --> 00:46:55,606 I don't know what it is. 526 00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:04,114 The Sheriff, Mongo is back! He's razing the whole town! 527 00:47:04,281 --> 00:47:06,116 Please, you must help us! 528 00:47:06,283 --> 00:47:08,577 Did you hear? Now it's "be so kind". 529 00:47:08,911 --> 00:47:13,373 This morning they didn't even listen to me. Who is this Mongo? 530 00:47:13,540 --> 00:47:16,835 Mongo isn't exactly "who". He's kind of more "what". 531 00:47:17,336 --> 00:47:18,378 As he said. 532 00:47:18,545 --> 00:47:20,088 Well, I don't know… 533 00:47:20,923 --> 00:47:23,258 Thank you so much! 534 00:47:24,760 --> 00:47:26,345 The token will… 535 00:47:26,845 --> 00:47:29,389 I mean, the sheriff will. 536 00:47:34,728 --> 00:47:38,982 No, don't do it! If you shoot him, then he just gets angry. 537 00:47:50,452 --> 00:47:52,204 Caramelogram for Mongo! 538 00:48:05,133 --> 00:48:06,176 Me, Mongo. 539 00:48:06,343 --> 00:48:07,928 A signature, please. 540 00:48:18,230 --> 00:48:19,940 Mongo likes caramels. 541 00:48:27,239 --> 00:48:29,491 A little further down, to the right. 542 00:48:29,992 --> 00:48:32,703 I was sure Mongo would do… 543 00:48:33,245 --> 00:48:35,414 small meatballs by the sheriff. 544 00:48:35,581 --> 00:48:36,790 I just can't understand it. 545 00:48:36,957 --> 00:48:38,542 Be quiet for a while, Taggart. 546 00:48:39,251 --> 00:48:41,920 My head is like a foaming river... 547 00:48:42,254 --> 00:48:44,089 flooded with thoughts… 548 00:48:44,256 --> 00:48:48,802 which gushes out in a waterfall of creative possibilities. 549 00:48:48,969 --> 00:48:51,221 Jeez, Mr. Lamarr... 550 00:48:51,388 --> 00:48:55,642 you use your tongue better than a twenty dollar whore. 551 00:48:57,769 --> 00:48:58,979 Shit heap. 552 00:49:00,063 --> 00:49:02,357 One moment, there is the solution. 553 00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:06,403 And it will work! 554 00:49:06,570 --> 00:49:09,239 You can bet on that! What will work? 555 00:49:09,448 --> 00:49:11,074 It's elementary, crunch ball! 556 00:49:11,241 --> 00:49:12,659 The beast missed. 557 00:49:12,826 --> 00:49:16,330 And when the Beast misses, is it time to call in Beauty. 558 00:49:17,914 --> 00:49:19,041 The beauty? 559 00:49:21,043 --> 00:49:24,421 She has never let me down. She will make jelly out of him. 560 00:49:24,588 --> 00:49:26,548 She will bring him to his knees. 561 00:49:29,134 --> 00:49:32,095 where is my frog where is my frog 562 00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:34,723 I don't know that. I didn't see it when I came in. 563 00:49:34,890 --> 00:49:36,933 Open your eyes and look for it! 564 00:49:44,441 --> 00:49:45,817 There it is. 565 00:49:51,198 --> 00:49:55,827 It was close! Dad loves the Frog. Does the frog love daddy? 566 00:50:06,046 --> 00:50:08,006 I don't understand how you managed it. 567 00:50:08,173 --> 00:50:09,424 He was simple. 568 00:50:09,758 --> 00:50:12,469 The hard part was coming up with it the caramelogram. 569 00:50:12,678 --> 00:50:15,263 I probably don't get credit for it. 570 00:50:24,147 --> 00:50:25,774 Good evening, Sheriff. 571 00:50:25,982 --> 00:50:28,610 Apologies for "Get in the hedge, nigga". 572 00:50:28,777 --> 00:50:32,656 This apple pie is meant as a thank you to you for your... 573 00:50:32,823 --> 00:50:36,493 talent and your courage when it mattered to defeat Mongo. 574 00:50:37,244 --> 00:50:39,788 Thank you very much. Very friendly. Good night. 575 00:50:49,589 --> 00:50:54,094 Of course you have such good judgment that you do not mention that I spoke to you. 576 00:50:59,349 --> 00:51:03,770 I'm fast becoming this stan's secret success. 577 00:51:03,937 --> 00:51:08,108 You see, in 25 years you can shake hands with them in daylight. 578 00:51:08,275 --> 00:51:10,777 I'm not going to hold my breath and wait. 579 00:51:10,944 --> 00:51:15,991 Hurry up, I don't want to be late. Lili von Shtupp premieres. 580 00:51:16,199 --> 00:51:17,451 Lili von who? 581 00:51:21,788 --> 00:51:23,582 HEDLEY LAMARR PRESENTS LILI VON SHTUPP 582 00:51:23,749 --> 00:51:24,833 THE EXTENSIVE GERMAN 583 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,502 PERFORMING AT ROCK RIDGE SALOON 584 00:51:32,174 --> 00:51:35,969 Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome. Come in. 585 00:51:41,558 --> 00:51:44,019 It's me, Hedley. To you my dear. 586 00:51:47,105 --> 00:51:49,608 So ordinary! 587 00:51:52,027 --> 00:51:54,863 Lili, Lili, Lili, thighs, Lili, Lili! 588 00:51:56,740 --> 00:51:59,826 I can't find the right words to express my joy… 589 00:51:59,993 --> 00:52:02,621 over that our friendship resumed. 590 00:52:02,788 --> 00:52:05,373 Bullshit, what kind of job is that? 591 00:52:07,751 --> 00:52:10,086 It's wonderful when you talk dirty. 592 00:52:21,973 --> 00:52:24,768 Stop now, Lamarr, get to the point! 593 00:52:24,976 --> 00:52:27,145 What do you want me to do? 594 00:52:28,688 --> 00:52:32,567 I want you to seduce and abandon the sheriff of Rock Ridge. 595 00:52:33,151 --> 00:52:35,070 Do you think you can do it? 596 00:52:37,113 --> 00:52:38,698 Is Bismarck a herring? 597 00:52:39,115 --> 00:52:42,244 Lili, you are magnificent! kiss me! 598 00:52:54,381 --> 00:52:58,552 And now, folks, here comes the lady you've all been waiting for... 599 00:52:59,219 --> 00:53:03,932 the very Bomb from Bavaria! Let's applaud Lili von Shtupp! 600 00:53:17,070 --> 00:53:20,407 “Here I stand, a goddess of desire 601 00:53:20,949 --> 00:53:24,327 “Which manages to set the men on fire 602 00:53:26,830 --> 00:53:30,292 "Morning. noon and evening, it's drinks and dancing 603 00:53:30,876 --> 00:53:34,629 "Some quick romance, and then a shower 604 00:53:36,673 --> 00:53:40,176 "I always have horny men around me 605 00:53:40,510 --> 00:53:43,930 “They are hounding me with the same question 606 00:53:46,141 --> 00:53:49,227 “Who can satisfy these men 607 00:53:50,145 --> 00:53:53,398 “Are we hares? It's a pain 608 00:54:02,282 --> 00:54:03,867 “I'm tired 609 00:54:05,827 --> 00:54:08,747 "Less and weary of love 610 00:54:10,707 --> 00:54:13,209 “I've had enough of love services 611 00:54:15,086 --> 00:54:17,881 "From below and from above 612 00:54:21,426 --> 00:54:24,721 “Tired, tired of being desired 613 00:54:28,141 --> 00:54:31,144 "Tired of heartless love 614 00:54:33,188 --> 00:54:35,440 “It's a fact, I'm tired 615 00:54:37,734 --> 00:54:41,613 “I've had thousands of husbands over and over again 616 00:54:43,615 --> 00:54:45,784 “They promise everything that is stylish 617 00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:50,580 “They just come and go and comes and goes 618 00:54:53,500 --> 00:54:55,502 “And always too soon 619 00:54:56,419 --> 00:54:58,004 - Right, girls?- 620 00:54:58,213 --> 00:55:01,466 “I'm tired. Tired of the game 621 00:55:05,178 --> 00:55:07,722 “On all the betrayals 622 00:55:09,599 --> 00:55:12,102 "I'm so tired" 623 00:55:13,311 --> 00:55:15,981 Damn, I'm totally exhausted! 624 00:55:17,857 --> 00:55:20,986 - Hey, cowboy, what's your name? - Like, miss. 625 00:55:21,361 --> 00:55:24,531 "Tex, Miss"? Tell me, Miss Tex... 626 00:55:24,698 --> 00:55:26,157 are you in show business? 627 00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:27,033 No. 628 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:32,288 Well, then why don't you remove yours damn feet from the stage? 629 00:55:44,134 --> 00:55:50,015 Hello, the jewelry. Is it a ten-gallon hat, or is it that you enjoy the show? 630 00:55:57,814 --> 00:56:00,525 Miss Lili, oh, my fair lady! 631 00:56:12,662 --> 00:56:15,248 “Tired of the game 632 00:56:17,083 --> 00:56:19,502 “On all the betrayals 633 00:56:21,337 --> 00:56:22,756 “I'm so tired 634 00:56:31,681 --> 00:56:32,932 “She is tired 635 00:56:33,558 --> 00:56:36,269 "-Less and tired of love - Give her rest 636 00:56:36,436 --> 00:56:39,564 "-She's had enough of love services - She's not a mare 637 00:56:39,731 --> 00:56:43,735 "-From below and from above - Can't you see she's sick 638 00:56:43,902 --> 00:56:45,070 “She is exhausted 639 00:56:45,236 --> 00:56:47,739 "-Tired of being wanted - Leave her alone 640 00:56:47,906 --> 00:56:50,283 "Tired of heartless love 641 00:56:52,494 --> 00:56:54,245 “Don't you know she's driven out 642 00:56:54,412 --> 00:56:58,249 “I've had thousands of husbands over and over again 643 00:57:00,293 --> 00:57:02,837 “They all sing the same song 644 00:57:03,379 --> 00:57:06,758 “They start with Byron and Shelley 645 00:57:07,050 --> 00:57:11,012 "But then they take Willy, and goes straight to the mouse 646 00:57:18,061 --> 00:57:20,647 “Tired of the game 647 00:57:22,440 --> 00:57:24,901 “On all the betrayals 648 00:57:26,861 --> 00:57:28,071 "I'm so..." 649 00:57:29,030 --> 00:57:33,451 We have to realize that. Everything below the waist is worn out! 650 00:58:09,112 --> 00:58:10,822 What does it say? 651 00:58:11,072 --> 00:58:16,202 “I must be allowed to see you alone in mine dressing room after the performance." 652 00:58:30,675 --> 00:58:33,344 How are you, my dear? 653 00:58:34,012 --> 00:58:35,054 Excellent! 654 00:58:40,185 --> 00:58:43,313 A red rose. So romantic! 655 00:58:44,981 --> 00:58:47,025 Have a seat, Sheriff. 656 00:58:52,655 --> 00:58:54,157 Could you excuse me for a moment… 657 00:58:54,324 --> 00:58:57,785 while I change to something more comfortable? 658 00:59:00,705 --> 00:59:02,165 Go ahead, weirdo. 659 00:59:09,672 --> 00:59:12,717 Why don't you dissolve your marbles? 660 00:59:19,057 --> 00:59:21,601 Now I feel refreshed! 661 00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,562 Isn't it too bright? 662 00:59:30,944 --> 00:59:33,863 So yes! Isn't that better? 663 00:59:36,199 --> 00:59:38,451 Sorry, I'll be right back. 664 00:59:42,163 --> 00:59:43,331 How is it going? 665 00:59:43,498 --> 00:59:47,877 He is like wet sauerkraut in my hands. Before morning he is my slave. 666 00:59:48,294 --> 00:59:49,379 Excellent. 667 00:59:49,587 --> 00:59:51,798 Let me poke around a bit. 668 00:59:52,548 --> 00:59:54,759 Where were we? where are you 669 00:59:56,886 --> 00:59:59,055 Let me sit here next to you. 670 01:00:01,557 --> 01:00:03,518 Tell me my darling… 671 01:00:03,768 --> 01:00:08,231 is it, is it true what they say about how you are equipped? 672 01:00:10,733 --> 01:00:13,736 Oh, it's true, it's true! 673 01:00:20,118 --> 01:00:22,453 Would you like another Schnitzengruben? 674 01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:26,624 No thanks. Fifteen is my limit at Schnitzengruben. 675 01:00:27,458 --> 01:00:30,086 But how about a little...? 676 01:00:33,589 --> 01:00:37,010 Stranger, I beg you, I'm not from Havana. 677 01:00:37,844 --> 01:00:39,512 Excuse me sweetie… 678 01:00:39,679 --> 01:00:43,891 besides, I'm late for work. I have some difficult tasks to complete. 679 01:00:44,058 --> 01:00:46,352 Can I meet you later? 680 01:00:47,603 --> 01:00:51,983 It depends entirely on how much E vitamins I can get over. 681 01:00:52,150 --> 01:00:54,068 No, no, wait! 682 01:00:54,902 --> 01:00:57,030 No, you can't go! I need you! 683 01:00:57,196 --> 01:01:01,743 I've never met anyone like you! I can't live without you! 684 01:01:02,994 --> 01:01:06,122 Please, you're embarrassing yourself. 685 01:01:09,500 --> 01:01:11,169 Auf wiedersehen, weirdo. 686 01:01:18,468 --> 01:01:20,511 Oh, what a nice guy. 687 01:01:28,686 --> 01:01:32,023 Dear someone, look what the cat brought? 688 01:01:45,286 --> 01:01:47,538 What happens in the clean world? 689 01:01:48,039 --> 01:01:49,332 Bad news. 690 01:01:49,665 --> 01:01:54,170 I have an order here to release Mongo, signed by Hedley Lamarr himself. 691 01:01:58,966 --> 01:02:02,136 Why does a man like Hedley Lamarr care about Mongo? 692 01:02:05,348 --> 01:02:06,599 It is legal. 693 01:02:08,935 --> 01:02:12,313 Those Schnitzengruben can kill you! 694 01:02:19,862 --> 01:02:21,197 Time to wake up! 695 01:02:27,495 --> 01:02:30,164 Okay Mongo. You are free to go. 696 01:02:31,958 --> 01:02:33,167 Mongo not go. 697 01:02:35,795 --> 01:02:39,298 Come on, Mongo. You are a free man. 698 01:02:41,092 --> 01:02:45,763 Mongo stays with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff first man to beat Mongo. 699 01:02:47,557 --> 01:02:51,477 Mongo impressed, feel deeply for Sheriff Bart. 700 01:02:53,896 --> 01:02:56,149 Take care, my friend! 701 01:02:56,357 --> 01:02:59,110 I think Mongo has taken a liking to you. 702 01:03:03,573 --> 01:03:04,949 Mongo not like that. 703 01:03:09,662 --> 01:03:11,914 Maybe you know why a high official... 704 01:03:12,081 --> 01:03:14,959 which Hedley Lamarr is interested in Rock Ridge. 705 01:03:15,168 --> 01:03:19,297 Don't know. Has to do with where tough-tough goes. 706 01:03:22,884 --> 01:03:26,971 Mongo, why would Hedley Lamarr care where tuff-tuff goes? 707 01:03:27,930 --> 01:03:29,056 Don't know. 708 01:03:30,975 --> 01:03:34,395 Mongo just a small pawn in the game of life. 709 01:03:38,774 --> 01:03:40,902 The time has come to find out… 710 01:03:41,068 --> 01:03:43,196 which way are they building the railway... 711 01:03:43,362 --> 01:03:45,490 and maybe snoop a little. 712 01:04:24,570 --> 01:04:26,614 No, damn it! 713 01:04:33,246 --> 01:04:36,415 Hey, how's it going, Bart? Jump off the horse! 714 01:04:42,505 --> 01:04:45,466 You clever nigga! They said you were hanged! 715 01:04:45,800 --> 01:04:47,093 And they were right! 716 01:04:47,260 --> 01:04:50,137 Look at that star! Public service! 717 01:04:53,891 --> 01:04:55,434 Wait! Move on. 718 01:04:55,601 --> 01:04:59,021 You are talking to the sheriff of Rock Ridge. 719 01:04:59,480 --> 01:05:03,359 Rock Ridge? The railway will go through town! 720 01:05:18,374 --> 01:05:22,878 Brother, move! You must not soil your brother! 721 01:05:39,312 --> 01:05:41,355 At All Saints! 722 01:05:42,064 --> 01:05:45,359 It's the nigger who hit me in the head with the spade! 723 01:05:45,860 --> 01:05:49,488 What the hell are you going to do with that star, boy? 724 01:05:49,655 --> 01:05:54,285 Watch out for the "guy" talk, robin! You are talking to the sheriff of Rock Ridge. 725 01:05:56,829 --> 01:05:58,998 Now, this beats everything else! 726 01:05:59,248 --> 01:06:01,459 Here we do our best... 727 01:06:01,626 --> 01:06:05,046 to kill every Indian in the West, and for what? 728 01:06:05,713 --> 01:06:09,884 So they can appoint a sheriff who is blacker than any Indian! 729 01:06:11,052 --> 01:06:12,678 I feel depressed. 730 01:06:12,928 --> 01:06:16,515 Excuse me Mr. Taggart, but i hate seeing you like this. 731 01:06:16,682 --> 01:06:19,518 How about me and the boys shoot the nigga dead? 732 01:06:19,685 --> 01:06:21,354 Would that cheer you up? 733 01:06:21,520 --> 01:06:22,855 Well, maybe that could help. 734 01:06:23,022 --> 01:06:25,650 Okay guys. I count to three. 735 01:06:26,400 --> 01:06:28,903 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 736 01:06:29,445 --> 01:06:31,364 Don't worry about that a-layer. 737 01:06:31,530 --> 01:06:35,076 He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot with it. 738 01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:39,246 As I said. I count to three. 739 01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:42,166 A... 740 01:06:44,126 --> 01:06:45,211 two... 741 01:06:46,128 --> 01:06:47,213 three! 742 01:06:58,099 --> 01:07:02,770 Stop sitting there like a fool, and rub your aching hands. 743 01:07:03,604 --> 01:07:07,191 How about a little round of applause for the Waco Kid? 744 01:07:18,285 --> 01:07:20,996 I am inferred to be Mr. Pleasant! 745 01:07:21,163 --> 01:07:23,916 The time has come to shop and shop fast! 746 01:07:24,083 --> 01:07:25,751 All my plans have gone backwards! 747 01:07:25,918 --> 01:07:28,129 Instead of leaving town, the people remain in groups. 748 01:07:28,295 --> 01:07:32,299 Why don't you admit it? He's too much of a man for you. I know that. 749 01:07:32,550 --> 01:07:34,927 You will need an army to beat him! 750 01:07:35,094 --> 01:07:36,512 You are done! 751 01:07:36,804 --> 01:07:41,308 Finished! Overdue! Consumed! Blinded! Shit! 752 01:07:48,107 --> 01:07:50,818 Shut up! You German slut! 753 01:07:52,027 --> 01:07:53,404 I have to think. 754 01:08:02,413 --> 01:08:06,375 Wait a minute: She said army. Of course! 755 01:08:07,209 --> 01:08:11,881 An army made up of the worst slums which can be found throughout the West! 756 01:08:15,676 --> 01:08:20,014 I have decided to attack Rock Ridge so hard that only ashes remain! 757 01:08:20,556 --> 01:08:22,183 What should I do? 758 01:08:22,349 --> 01:08:25,936 You must round up every bad guy and gun pullers found throughout the West. 759 01:08:26,103 --> 01:08:27,354 Write the following! 760 01:08:27,938 --> 01:08:32,359 I want wrestlers, stabbers, killers, bounty hunter... 761 01:08:32,693 --> 01:08:36,947 desperadoes, brawlers, thugs, hell idiots, idiots, frauds... 762 01:08:37,239 --> 01:08:41,869 bandits, snipers, crooks, Native American spies, Mexican bandits... 763 01:08:42,286 --> 01:08:45,539 smugglers, thieves, homeless, outlaws... 764 01:08:45,748 --> 01:08:49,627 horse thieves, lesbians, train robbers, bank robber... 765 01:08:49,794 --> 01:08:52,171 scumbags and Methodists! 766 01:08:54,757 --> 01:08:56,592 Can you tell about it? 767 01:09:06,393 --> 01:09:08,103 Where is everyone going? 768 01:09:09,730 --> 01:09:10,689 Read it here. 769 01:09:10,856 --> 01:09:13,317 WANTED RUTHLESS MEN 770 01:09:13,484 --> 01:09:16,695 FOR DESTRUCTION OF ROCK RIDGE $100 PER DAY 771 01:09:16,987 --> 01:09:20,282 CRIMINAL BACKGROUND REQUIRED EQUAL ADVANTAGE EMPLOYMENT 772 01:09:21,325 --> 01:09:25,246 Can't you see it's the last act played by a desperate man? 773 01:09:25,412 --> 01:09:30,835 We don't care if it's Act One of "Henry the Fifth"! We stick! 774 01:09:31,168 --> 01:09:34,755 Wait a moment! Just one damn minute! 775 01:09:36,131 --> 01:09:40,803 Give me 24 hours to come up with a brilliant idea that can save our city. 776 01:09:41,387 --> 01:09:44,265 Just 24 hours, that's all I ask. 777 01:09:44,682 --> 01:09:45,766 No! 778 01:09:46,809 --> 01:09:48,853 Do it for John Wayne. 779 01:09:54,441 --> 01:09:57,319 Then we say so. 24 hours. 780 01:10:57,922 --> 01:10:58,923 Next! 781 01:11:00,174 --> 01:11:01,550 Qualifications? 782 01:11:01,717 --> 01:11:04,136 Rape, murder, arson and rape. 783 01:11:04,595 --> 01:11:06,388 You said rape twice. 784 01:11:06,847 --> 01:11:08,390 I like rape. 785 01:11:10,601 --> 01:11:13,020 Charming. Sign here. 786 01:11:14,563 --> 01:11:15,898 Take a tray. 787 01:11:19,902 --> 01:11:21,278 Qualifications? 788 01:11:21,612 --> 01:11:24,698 Arson, armed robbery, burglary. 789 01:11:25,032 --> 01:11:28,619 Wait a while! What's in your mouth? 790 01:11:30,496 --> 01:11:31,538 Nothing. 791 01:11:31,705 --> 01:11:33,624 "Nothing", huh? Lyle. 792 01:11:37,127 --> 01:11:38,212 Chewing gum! 793 01:11:38,629 --> 01:11:41,215 Chewing gum in sex, huh? 794 01:11:41,632 --> 01:11:44,426 I hope you brought to everyone. 795 01:11:46,345 --> 01:11:50,349 I didn't know that there would be so many. 796 01:11:53,727 --> 01:11:55,354 Jeez, is he strict! 797 01:11:56,230 --> 01:12:00,901 We'll have to get closer to find out what is happening. 798 01:12:01,068 --> 01:12:02,319 There we have our ticket. 799 01:12:02,486 --> 01:12:05,030 HAVE A NICE DAY 800 01:12:09,243 --> 01:12:10,327 Hello there! 801 01:12:11,954 --> 01:12:13,706 Look what I have here! 802 01:12:15,582 --> 01:12:17,751 Where are the white women? 803 01:12:31,932 --> 01:12:34,309 That was nice! I liked that! 804 01:12:34,893 --> 01:12:38,689 Be prepared to attack Rock Ridge tomorrow. Here is your tray. 805 01:12:42,484 --> 01:12:45,279 We don't need any damn trays! 806 01:12:47,573 --> 01:12:48,574 Next! 807 01:12:48,741 --> 01:12:50,117 Qualifications? 808 01:12:50,367 --> 01:12:51,827 Hunt cattle. 809 01:12:52,244 --> 01:12:53,954 It is not a major crime. 810 01:12:54,121 --> 01:12:55,622 Through the Vatican? 811 01:12:55,914 --> 01:12:56,915 Brilliant! 812 01:12:57,833 --> 01:12:59,209 Sign here. 813 01:13:00,335 --> 01:13:02,588 But, Rhett, how many times have i told you… 814 01:13:02,755 --> 01:13:05,257 to wash yourself after the week's cross burning? 815 01:13:05,591 --> 01:13:07,176 Look, it's going away. 816 01:13:09,386 --> 01:13:12,890 And now, my next impersonation, Jesse Owens! 817 01:13:14,641 --> 01:13:15,934 Catch them! 818 01:13:16,894 --> 01:13:21,023 listen up guys we screen them at the pass! 819 01:13:22,608 --> 01:13:26,737 Screen them off at the pass? I hate that cliche! 820 01:13:45,422 --> 01:13:46,673 Say "hello". 821 01:13:46,965 --> 01:13:47,966 Hello. 822 01:13:48,801 --> 01:13:51,053 Listen to me, and listen well. 823 01:13:51,220 --> 01:13:53,472 I want you to gather all the brothers… 824 01:13:53,639 --> 01:13:57,893 gather as much timber, tent cloth, paint and nails that you can find… 825 01:13:58,060 --> 01:14:02,689 and meet me at midnight five kilometers east of Rock Ridge. 826 01:14:03,357 --> 01:14:04,650 Have you understood? 827 01:14:04,817 --> 01:14:06,068 Say "goodbye". 828 01:14:07,444 --> 01:14:09,071 Many thanks, brother. 829 01:14:37,683 --> 01:14:40,769 Citizens, I understand that you are wondering what are you doing here... 830 01:14:40,936 --> 01:14:43,272 in the middle of the prairie in the middle of the night. 831 01:14:43,438 --> 01:14:45,399 You can get in the way of that! 832 01:14:45,732 --> 01:14:46,942 I see. 833 01:14:47,276 --> 01:14:48,986 Now, before the sun rises… 834 01:14:49,153 --> 01:14:53,782 then we will build an exact copy of Rock Ridge right here. 835 01:14:58,162 --> 01:15:01,665 Every house, every shop, every rock and every tree… 836 01:15:01,832 --> 01:15:05,377 even the orange roof at the Howard Johnson's Outhouse. 837 01:15:06,420 --> 01:15:07,713 Now I understand! 838 01:15:07,880 --> 01:15:11,091 Tomorrow when Hedley Lamarr and his men come to destroy… 839 01:15:11,258 --> 01:15:14,636 the real Rock Ridge, are they destroying the fake Rock Ridge! 840 01:15:14,803 --> 01:15:16,722 But they think it's the real thing Rock Ridge! 841 01:15:16,889 --> 01:15:18,849 But we know it's the fake Rock Ridge! 842 01:15:19,016 --> 01:15:22,561 But how are we going to cope with it? We have neither time nor people. 843 01:15:22,728 --> 01:15:25,022 Wrong! There comes the solution. 844 01:15:28,025 --> 01:15:29,943 Who the hell are they there? 845 01:15:33,655 --> 01:15:38,327 Railway worker. They have agreed to help us realize our dream. 846 01:15:38,493 --> 01:15:41,330 And as payment they ask only about a piece of land... 847 01:15:41,496 --> 01:15:43,665 which they can call their own homelands. 848 01:15:43,832 --> 01:15:45,167 What do you say? 849 01:15:52,382 --> 01:15:55,886 We give land to the niggers and the Chinese... 850 01:15:56,553 --> 01:15:58,722 but we don't want the Irish! 851 01:16:04,186 --> 01:16:05,687 We do not accept that! 852 01:16:06,313 --> 01:16:09,024 To hell with it! All! 853 01:16:14,696 --> 01:16:15,864 Lord... 854 01:16:16,907 --> 01:16:21,578 do we have the strength to carry out such a thing works in a single night? 855 01:16:24,289 --> 01:16:26,625 Or are we just talking shit? 856 01:16:37,386 --> 01:16:42,057 Okay, we made it. Now we have to look at what we have done. 857 01:17:22,514 --> 01:17:26,560 guys, you are now going on an important crusade... 858 01:17:27,978 --> 01:17:30,981 to root out runaway decency in the West. 859 01:17:31,189 --> 01:17:33,775 You are only risking your lives... 860 01:17:33,984 --> 01:17:38,572 while I risk an almost certain Oscar nomination... 861 01:17:39,740 --> 01:17:41,700 for Best Supporting Actor. 862 01:17:41,950 --> 01:17:44,494 Raise your right hand to take the oath. 863 01:17:46,496 --> 01:17:47,497 Right! 864 01:17:49,166 --> 01:17:51,293 And follow me. I... 865 01:17:52,336 --> 01:17:53,295 i... 866 01:17:53,462 --> 01:17:54,671 ...your name... 867 01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:56,131 ...your name... 868 01:17:56,465 --> 01:17:59,509 Sheep's skulls! ...swear allegiance... 869 01:17:59,843 --> 01:18:01,428 ...swear allegiance... 870 01:18:01,595 --> 01:18:03,263 ...to Hedley Lamarr... 871 01:18:03,472 --> 01:18:05,098 ...to Hedy Lamarr... 872 01:18:05,349 --> 01:18:06,558 It's Hedley! 873 01:18:06,725 --> 01:18:08,143 ...it's Hedley... 874 01:18:08,310 --> 01:18:10,062 ...and to the evil one... 875 01:18:10,312 --> 01:18:12,022 ...and to the evil one... 876 01:18:12,189 --> 01:18:14,024 ...he represents! 877 01:18:14,191 --> 01:18:15,776 ...he represents! 878 01:18:15,942 --> 01:18:18,362 So go ahead and do it… 879 01:18:19,946 --> 01:18:22,032 as you do so well! 880 01:18:33,668 --> 01:18:36,922 Stop cheering. We are in bad shape. 881 01:18:37,881 --> 01:18:40,342 Yes! We forgot a small detail. 882 01:18:40,592 --> 01:18:44,638 Nothing is missing. Everything is there, down to the last gate post. 883 01:18:45,180 --> 01:18:47,265 People. There are no people. 884 01:18:47,432 --> 01:18:49,851 Take it easy. Do not panic. 885 01:18:50,602 --> 01:18:53,397 We have made a perfect replica of Rock Ridge. 886 01:18:53,688 --> 01:18:57,275 All we have to do is make perfect copies of ourselves. 887 01:18:58,527 --> 01:19:00,779 But they'll be here in half an hour. 888 01:19:01,029 --> 01:19:03,407 Right, so we have to work fast. 889 01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:07,744 You guys start work on the dolls. Jim and Mongo, come with me. 890 01:19:07,911 --> 01:19:11,706 I've got an idea that will slow down down their speed to crab walk. 891 01:19:11,873 --> 01:19:13,375 Good, then let's start! 892 01:19:20,966 --> 01:19:22,968 It is good, very good. 893 01:19:45,115 --> 01:19:49,786 Le Petomane Bypass! What's that pile of shit up to next? 894 01:19:50,370 --> 01:19:52,122 CUSTOMS 10 CENTS EVEN MONEY 895 01:19:52,372 --> 01:19:54,374 Anyone got ten cents on them? 896 01:19:56,084 --> 01:19:59,379 Someone has to ride back and pick it up a sack of dimes. 897 01:20:08,472 --> 01:20:12,392 Hurry up. Faster, or we will come never to Rock Ridge! 898 01:20:12,976 --> 01:20:15,729 Hurry up, ride on! 899 01:20:21,985 --> 01:20:24,237 They have passed the customs barrier. 900 01:20:26,406 --> 01:20:28,909 Look there, they're going for it! 901 01:20:39,252 --> 01:20:42,714 Now it comes. Keep your ears open! 902 01:20:43,173 --> 01:20:44,883 It's time for the show. 903 01:20:49,804 --> 01:20:50,514 Nothing! 904 01:20:50,680 --> 01:20:52,265 What should we do? 905 01:20:52,432 --> 01:20:56,394 Soon they will discover that the city is fake and get out of there! 906 01:20:58,188 --> 01:21:00,649 Do you think you can quit? a shot from here… 907 01:21:00,815 --> 01:21:03,193 and hit the dynamite down there? 908 01:21:03,985 --> 01:21:05,487 I can try. 909 01:21:15,872 --> 01:21:19,209 Lord, keep his eye sharp… 910 01:21:19,459 --> 01:21:21,461 and may God grant… 911 01:21:33,723 --> 01:21:34,975 Stan is fake! 912 01:21:35,225 --> 01:21:36,935 We have been deceived! 913 01:21:53,994 --> 01:21:57,455 Okay, now we go and exterminate them! 914 01:22:22,022 --> 01:22:23,481 Lord, forgive me! 915 01:23:26,795 --> 01:23:28,588 “Throw out your arms, stick out your butt 916 01:23:28,755 --> 01:23:30,882 “Hands on hips, give them a shake 917 01:23:31,049 --> 01:23:34,594 "You will be surprised, you do the French Miss. Voilà!” 918 01:23:37,013 --> 01:23:38,348 Cut! 919 01:23:43,436 --> 01:23:44,437 Wrong! 920 01:23:47,649 --> 01:23:51,027 Just look at me. It's that simple! 921 01:23:51,444 --> 01:23:52,779 Fools! 922 01:23:53,446 --> 01:23:57,033 Give me the playback. Look now, gays! 923 01:24:11,214 --> 01:24:12,340 Have you understood? 924 01:24:12,507 --> 01:24:13,717 Suressssst. 925 01:24:14,676 --> 01:24:16,511 Sounds like a steam leak! 926 01:24:16,886 --> 01:24:20,056 Action! Okay, wait until I'm out. 927 01:24:23,727 --> 01:24:25,061 Playback! 928 01:24:50,837 --> 01:24:54,758 Cut! What the hell are you guys doing here? 929 01:24:55,091 --> 01:24:57,010 This is a closed scene! 930 01:24:58,094 --> 01:25:00,764 Bullshit! I work for Mel Brooks. 931 01:25:01,097 --> 01:25:03,016 Not in the face! 932 01:25:04,934 --> 01:25:06,227 Thank you very much. 933 01:25:06,436 --> 01:25:09,397 They beat Buddy! Come on, girls! 934 01:25:19,115 --> 01:25:20,784 You vulgar shit! 935 01:25:21,201 --> 01:25:23,870 You poor bastard! 936 01:25:28,583 --> 01:25:30,752 I have parked by the dining hall. 937 01:25:35,089 --> 01:25:38,426 You beast, you terrible beast! 938 01:25:40,303 --> 01:25:42,305 So yeah... 939 01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:59,155 How many days do you have left, Joey? 940 01:25:59,322 --> 01:26:01,866 I stop after the bunker scene. 941 01:26:04,327 --> 01:26:05,954 What is happening? 942 01:26:11,209 --> 01:26:14,128 Take your pies to the big pie toss! 943 01:26:18,258 --> 01:26:21,261 This is the studio dining room, where some Hollywood stars... 944 01:26:21,427 --> 01:26:23,388 come to eat. Hold the line! 945 01:26:30,520 --> 01:26:33,606 And now we go to the department for the special effects. 946 01:26:38,027 --> 01:26:41,239 Yankee bean soup, coleslaw, tuna. 947 01:27:21,696 --> 01:27:22,697 Taxi! 948 01:27:28,119 --> 01:27:30,163 Get me out of this movie! 949 01:27:59,108 --> 01:28:00,401 You lost your rosary. 950 01:28:00,568 --> 01:28:01,945 One ticket, please. 951 01:28:03,237 --> 01:28:04,572 Student discount? 952 01:28:05,198 --> 01:28:06,574 Are you kidding? 953 01:28:08,785 --> 01:28:10,161 Stupid bitch! 954 01:28:10,578 --> 01:28:13,081 Look Herman, I'm in Hedy Lamarr's footsteps! 955 01:28:13,247 --> 01:28:14,248 Hedley! 956 01:28:18,419 --> 01:28:19,587 Raisin! 957 01:28:43,152 --> 01:28:44,278 Quiet! 958 01:28:44,988 --> 01:28:47,240 All right, Lamarr, pick up your gun. 959 01:28:47,573 --> 01:28:50,660 Wait, I'm unarmed. 960 01:28:51,160 --> 01:28:54,080 Then we make up like men. 961 01:28:55,665 --> 01:28:57,041 With the fists. 962 01:28:58,001 --> 01:29:01,796 Sorry, just remembered. I am armed. 963 01:29:07,802 --> 01:29:09,262 GOOD LUCK TO THE PAGE DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS 964 01:29:09,429 --> 01:29:14,058 How could he do such amazing things stunts with such small feet? 965 01:29:20,023 --> 01:29:21,691 You shot the bad guy! 966 01:29:24,235 --> 01:29:26,195 What do you want to do now? 967 01:29:26,362 --> 01:29:29,032 Come, let's go check the end of the movie. 968 01:29:29,615 --> 01:29:32,952 I really hope for a good ending. I love a good ending. 969 01:29:37,957 --> 01:29:41,044 Sheriff, you can't go now. We need you. 970 01:29:41,753 --> 01:29:45,298 I have done my work here. Now I'm needed elsewhere. 971 01:29:46,090 --> 01:29:49,177 I am needed everywhere where the lawless rule the West. 972 01:29:49,385 --> 01:29:53,389 Everywhere there innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets. 973 01:29:54,057 --> 01:29:57,018 Anywhere where a man cannot live in simple dignity. 974 01:29:57,185 --> 01:30:00,772 Everywhere people are crying out for justice. 975 01:30:01,731 --> 01:30:03,066 Bullshit! 976 01:30:05,860 --> 01:30:07,153 Okay, you got me there. 977 01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:11,115 truth be told, it's getting a little too boring here. 978 01:30:11,282 --> 01:30:14,494 Good luck Bart, and God bless you. 979 01:30:19,749 --> 01:30:21,250 Goodbye, little brother. 980 01:30:23,211 --> 01:30:24,921 Keep the faith, brothers! 981 01:30:41,395 --> 01:30:43,356 Where are you going, cowboy? 982 01:30:44,357 --> 01:30:45,858 Nowhere definite. 983 01:30:48,528 --> 01:30:52,615 Nowhere definite. I've always wanted to get there. 984 01:30:55,201 --> 01:30:56,244 Come along! 985 01:31:27,316 --> 01:31:31,070 “He overcame fear and he overcame hate 986 01:31:31,404 --> 01:31:34,740 "He turned our night into day" 987 01:32:50,441 --> 01:32:52,443 [English]